Friendly but no-nonsense relationship and dating advice for women in their 20s and 30s, from the guy perspective. Come back for biweekly posts and "tips of the week." Skip to the advice...
Jun
16
Submitted by ethanfburke on Thu, 2011-06-16 18:36
What makes so many people anxious in relationships -- especially when things are beginning or ending -- is control. You start to feel like you don't have it; you sense the reality that you actually have no sway over what the other person is thinking or feeling, and your emotions take over from your good sense.
But a lot of us guys have been taught from an early age to control our emotions. And while this can be handicapping at times, it actually comes in handy in those situations where we don't have control over a situation. Because instead of letting our emotions get the better of us, we can focus on controlling what we ourselves are feeling. And no matter how crazy it might feel at first, our own emotions, unlike someone else's, are something we actually do have control over.
So next time you're feeling out of control in a relationship because you don't know what a guy is thinking or feeling, try paying a little more attention to your own thoughts and emotions. The feeling of empowerment you'll get from settling down and reminding yourself that there are other things in life will do wonders for you -- and sometimes even lead to a serious improvement in your relationship.
